I couldn’t care less if the toilet lid or even seat is left up, but if you finish off the toilet paper and don’t put out a new one, expect me to hide it from you.

I talk to my belly buddy in Australia more often than my grandmother in Michigan, and am just now realizing that’s not right.

Some days, my favorite member of the family is the cat.

I believe this unborn child would be much better off with someone else, but am far too selfish to consider adoption.

I fell in love with my husband on the first date, and believe with all my heart that marrying him after four months was the right thing to do.

Sometimes I think my wedding ring makes me look fat.

I love to shop and try on clothes, but I almost never buy anything I try on.

At this point in my life I find it difficult to sit through anything on TV that’s longer than 30 minutes.

I just decorated our Christmas tree by myself and no one said anything.

I only answer about 5% of the calls I get, whether on the house phone or cell. I will answer any text within seconds as long as I’m awake.

I stated an opinion on Twitter yesterday and lost at last five followers for it; I probably won’t be stating any more opinions anytime soon.

More than anything in the world right now, I want a drink.

I HATE black olives.

I have to go find a drink so I will be able to pee in a cup when I get to the doctor’s office.